Proverbs 21:3 To do justice and judgment is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.
One of the things prairie redneck women have in common with other women is their tendency to cover up for their man. I don’t mean lying about bruises or pretending he doesn’t have a drinking problem, I mean the standard ways a woman covers for her man. The only difference might be what she cover ups.
For example, when a redneck man says he cut his hand when he set a glass down too hard, she’ll cover for him and say he’s telling the truth. What she’ll leave out is the reason why he set the glass down too hard is because his favourite stock car driver got spun out at turn three, lost the race and he slammed his glass of Pepsi down hard on the coffee table while hollering Up Yours Tony!
Then there’s the puck in eye while playing hockey on the pond. Yup, it’s the hazards of playing defence; you have to worry about getting a puck in the face. Of course it’s harder to see the puck coming when you are looking at your neighbour’s daughter and thinking she’s getting to the point the wife will be the one to pick her up and drop her off for babysitting, not him.
Speaking of young females, it’s real hard to get mad at a man who says he bought a case of Girl Guide cookies after he took a look at the calendar in the bedroom. Better to just chuckle indulgently as he hands the hostess of the Hockey Night in Canada party a box of Girl Guide cookies and says there’s plenty more. Besides, unless you tell him not to worry about answering the door during a televised stock car race, he’ll answer the door and choose the path of least resistance.
There are women, though, who will cover up when there isn’t any need to. An Edmonton couple drove their car to Canadian Tire, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of under-pants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything into place.
The wife stood back up, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead
About Me
- Alberta Rose
- I am a 40 something year old woman who went to college at Grant MacEwan College for a year, spent 15 years using my education and decided to spend at least an equal amount of time raising a child. I have a husband I affectionately call "Big Lug" and my son's nickname is Kidlet.
3 comments:
"Of course it’s harder to see the puck coming when you are looking at your neighbour’s daughter and thinking she’s getting to the point the wife will be the one to pick her up and drop her off for babysitting, not him."
As the parent of a fourteen year old daughter, I certainly hope the way you typed this came out wrong now that you've had time to re-read it. Geeze, woman.
I meant it exactly the way it sounded, that she is getting pretty enough, it would be far wiser for the female half of the couple to drop her off not the male half. That was based on three different true stories, one where the husband was looking at the neighbour's daughter, one where when the sitter turned 14, the wife started driving her home and one sad case where the neighbour's daughter admited she was making up a story about a ride home from babysitting "for attention and revenge because he turned down her pass."
I just want to thank you for your help. The stitches were removed three days ago. if your Big Lug needs more help with the car, call me. I will wear my helmit the next time. :)
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