Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no vision, the people perish, but he that keeps the law, happy is he.
I have had people wonder exactly what the difference is between Prairie Rednecks and their American counterparts. As well, some people aren't sure if they are redneck or just hicks. Here are some ways to help you decide if you are indeed a prairie redneck.
You might be redneck eh if you follow stock car racing on both sides of the border.
--Last November I went to my first NASCAR race, at Phoenix International Speedway. This year I have told Big Lug for an Anniversary present I'd like a family pass to Racecity Motor Speedway.
You might be redneck eh if you consider marrying a Southern Albertan marrying "up".
--Calgarians consider themselves superior to Edmontonians because most of the oil companies have their head offices in Calgary. Edmontonians consider themsevles superior to Calgarians because they aren't afraid to get their hands dirty working on oil rigs.
You might be redneck eh if you wear a cowboy hat to a Guns and Rose concert.
--Years ago, before I met Big Lug, I just about gave myself whiplash when I looked at a couple wearing cowboy hats at a Guns and Rose Concert. Sure enough, they were Calgarians who had bought tickets for the Edmonton concert.
You might be redneck eh if you have a Canadian Flag and an American flag somewhere in your house.
--We might have to shovel more snow, we might not have the same local slang but rednecks still respect their American neighbours.
You might be redneck eh if you support both the American and Canadian troops.
You might be redneck eh if you ignore the fact hockey is NOT Canada's official sport.
--Would you believe it's Lacrosse?
You might be redneck eh if you can maintain a serious expression while explaining the Canadian Football League motto "Our balls are bigger".
--It's one of the differences between the CFL and the NFL.
You might be redneck eh if your idea of date night is ordering in pizza while watching the Canadian Country Music Awards.
--Yes, Big Lug and I do this every year.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Covering Up
Proverbs 21:3 To do justice and judgment is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.
One of the things prairie redneck women have in common with other women is their tendency to cover up for their man. I don’t mean lying about bruises or pretending he doesn’t have a drinking problem, I mean the standard ways a woman covers for her man. The only difference might be what she cover ups.
For example, when a redneck man says he cut his hand when he set a glass down too hard, she’ll cover for him and say he’s telling the truth. What she’ll leave out is the reason why he set the glass down too hard is because his favourite stock car driver got spun out at turn three, lost the race and he slammed his glass of Pepsi down hard on the coffee table while hollering Up Yours Tony!
Then there’s the puck in eye while playing hockey on the pond. Yup, it’s the hazards of playing defence; you have to worry about getting a puck in the face. Of course it’s harder to see the puck coming when you are looking at your neighbour’s daughter and thinking she’s getting to the point the wife will be the one to pick her up and drop her off for babysitting, not him.
Speaking of young females, it’s real hard to get mad at a man who says he bought a case of Girl Guide cookies after he took a look at the calendar in the bedroom. Better to just chuckle indulgently as he hands the hostess of the Hockey Night in Canada party a box of Girl Guide cookies and says there’s plenty more. Besides, unless you tell him not to worry about answering the door during a televised stock car race, he’ll answer the door and choose the path of least resistance.
There are women, though, who will cover up when there isn’t any need to. An Edmonton couple drove their car to Canadian Tire, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of under-pants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything into place.
The wife stood back up, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead
One of the things prairie redneck women have in common with other women is their tendency to cover up for their man. I don’t mean lying about bruises or pretending he doesn’t have a drinking problem, I mean the standard ways a woman covers for her man. The only difference might be what she cover ups.
For example, when a redneck man says he cut his hand when he set a glass down too hard, she’ll cover for him and say he’s telling the truth. What she’ll leave out is the reason why he set the glass down too hard is because his favourite stock car driver got spun out at turn three, lost the race and he slammed his glass of Pepsi down hard on the coffee table while hollering Up Yours Tony!
Then there’s the puck in eye while playing hockey on the pond. Yup, it’s the hazards of playing defence; you have to worry about getting a puck in the face. Of course it’s harder to see the puck coming when you are looking at your neighbour’s daughter and thinking she’s getting to the point the wife will be the one to pick her up and drop her off for babysitting, not him.
Speaking of young females, it’s real hard to get mad at a man who says he bought a case of Girl Guide cookies after he took a look at the calendar in the bedroom. Better to just chuckle indulgently as he hands the hostess of the Hockey Night in Canada party a box of Girl Guide cookies and says there’s plenty more. Besides, unless you tell him not to worry about answering the door during a televised stock car race, he’ll answer the door and choose the path of least resistance.
There are women, though, who will cover up when there isn’t any need to. An Edmonton couple drove their car to Canadian Tire, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of under-pants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything into place.
The wife stood back up, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead
Monday, May 19, 2008
Victoria Day Weekend
Did you know that Victoria Day was started before Memorial Day? At least unofficially. Officially it was declared long after Memorial Day. Enough of sounding like a Social Studies teacher, time for the fun.
First of all, I have learned that as far as a child is concerned, if you give them a patch of lawn and call it a Dandelion Garden, when the dandelions spread, it means the garden has grown, not that everything outside the garden is considered weeds. Second, if you are in the habit of putting something at the top of the stairs to go to the basement later, don’t be surprised when your almost six year old puts your water cup at the top of the porch stairs, returns empty handed to say he’ll refill your water glass later.
I am not, however, the only one who had a learning experience regarding yard work. Apparently while Kidlet and I were out, Big Lug ran into one of our new casement style windows while mowing the lawn for the first time this year. I suspect what he had to say about that made it a good thing Kidlet and I had gone to pick up some groceries. When we returned, Big Lug had decided to postpone the front lawn until Monday due to spraying the dandelions and probably wanting to indulge his inner cave man. Trust a guy to want to burn dead wood and live juniper bush cuttings when it’s +25 outside and there is little cloud clover
Our Victoria Day dinner sort of embraced two family traditions: My family’s of having a barbecue, Big Lug’s of having beans with steak. The weather was perfect for lawn mowing, which Big Lug did. It was also perfect for trimming back juniper bushes. I decided not to add to the pile and focused more on housework. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Overall it was such a fun weekend; I have no regrets about staying home. I am thinking that next year we might brave the weather and go camping. At least next year we won’t have any extreme landscaping projects to do. If it wasn’t for the bylaws, I’d love to take a blowtorch to the juniper bushes. As it is, during the upcoming week I’ll probably have updates on my battle with them. God must be happy I am working on an intense project because there are many times I pray to him for patience, for calmness and the ability to know when I’ve have enough.
Proverbs 16:15 Slothfulness casts a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger.
First of all, I have learned that as far as a child is concerned, if you give them a patch of lawn and call it a Dandelion Garden, when the dandelions spread, it means the garden has grown, not that everything outside the garden is considered weeds. Second, if you are in the habit of putting something at the top of the stairs to go to the basement later, don’t be surprised when your almost six year old puts your water cup at the top of the porch stairs, returns empty handed to say he’ll refill your water glass later.
I am not, however, the only one who had a learning experience regarding yard work. Apparently while Kidlet and I were out, Big Lug ran into one of our new casement style windows while mowing the lawn for the first time this year. I suspect what he had to say about that made it a good thing Kidlet and I had gone to pick up some groceries. When we returned, Big Lug had decided to postpone the front lawn until Monday due to spraying the dandelions and probably wanting to indulge his inner cave man. Trust a guy to want to burn dead wood and live juniper bush cuttings when it’s +25 outside and there is little cloud clover
Our Victoria Day dinner sort of embraced two family traditions: My family’s of having a barbecue, Big Lug’s of having beans with steak. The weather was perfect for lawn mowing, which Big Lug did. It was also perfect for trimming back juniper bushes. I decided not to add to the pile and focused more on housework. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Overall it was such a fun weekend; I have no regrets about staying home. I am thinking that next year we might brave the weather and go camping. At least next year we won’t have any extreme landscaping projects to do. If it wasn’t for the bylaws, I’d love to take a blowtorch to the juniper bushes. As it is, during the upcoming week I’ll probably have updates on my battle with them. God must be happy I am working on an intense project because there are many times I pray to him for patience, for calmness and the ability to know when I’ve have enough.
Proverbs 16:15 Slothfulness casts a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Family Friday
I have spent this Friday doing for my family, including my church family. It's a long weekend here in Canada. I am going to take the weekend off. Just for fun this weekend, read Proverbs 16 today, Proverbs 17 Saturday, Proverbs 18 Sunday and if you are Canadian, Proverbs 19 Monday.
I will be back on Monday with an account of how my long weekend has been going. For those who listen to Country 105.1 FM or ww.country105.com , yes you heard correctly, the Odd Squad is indeed working on the holiday Monday.
Have a safe and blessed Victoria Day long weekend if you are Canadian! If you are from a different country, I still wish you a safe and blessed weekend!
Proverbs 16:1 The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord.
I will be back on Monday with an account of how my long weekend has been going. For those who listen to Country 105.1 FM or ww.country105.com , yes you heard correctly, the Odd Squad is indeed working on the holiday Monday.
Have a safe and blessed Victoria Day long weekend if you are Canadian! If you are from a different country, I still wish you a safe and blessed weekend!
Proverbs 16:1 The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Bars
I love men. That’s probably why I married one. To be honest, I think part of the reason why I got married is I got tired of the bar scene. When you are living the scene, you don’t realize how cheesey some lines are. I am sure the men who frequent bars are otherwise reasonably intelligent males. Unfortunately I never seemed to attract that sort
.
For example, there was the man that I dubbed the Put Downer. He seemed to think a great way to pick up a brunette was to put down other women. The Put Downer’s favourite joke would go:
Put Downer: What’s the mating call of a blonde?
Me (being polite) I don’t know.
“Gee I’m drunk.” I’d smile or giggle depending on how much I’d had to drink.
Put Downer: What’s the mating call of a redhead?
Me deciding to further shove away my college education: “I don’t know”
Put Downer: “Gee I’m lonely.”
I’d smile knowing the third part of the joke and wondering if it was really worth it to have this guy sit down with my girlfriend and me to laugh but knowing deep down I was enough of an alcoholic, I would.
Put Downer: What’s the mating call of a brunette?
Odds are if you are reading this you are now rolling your eyes because you know how the rest of the story goes. He says “Have all the damn blondes and redheads left yet”, I laugh, he sits down, his buddy joins us and the rest of the evening passes by with the two men buying us at least one drink, me laughing at the lame jokes, my girlfriend going home with one of the men and me announcing I have a boyfriend, I’m just here to keep my girlfriend company.
Then there is the Macho Man who has evolved beyond the “You’re cute, what’s your sign?” and uses as a pick up line “What music do you like?” Once I decided to drift back to my country roots, I had my own standard line. “I like both types of music.” I’d pause, grin and with a full fledge prairie drawl say “Country and Western”. Macho Man would usually leave skid marks because any woman who admits to being both country and western usually will eventually bring up the whole white picket fence, 2.3 children and mini-van lifestyle.
Desperate Man will give the same fake laugh I use for the Put Downer’s joke, talk about Willie Nelson, forewarn his friend the younger brunette is dangerous before joining our table and be careful how much money he spent on me.
Thankfully next month it will have been thirteen years since I gave up that lifestyle. I wouldn’t go back to it for anything; on the other hand, those memories tend to come back Victoria Day Long weekend because that’s when I decided to embrace the bar lifestyle for about six years. It’s also why the first six years of my twenties are a hazy blur. Be careful this weekend as you venture out to the bars. Heads you’ll run into an intelligent person, tails you’ll run into someone who will hustle you.
Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise use knowledge properly; but the mouth of fools pour out foolishness.
.
For example, there was the man that I dubbed the Put Downer. He seemed to think a great way to pick up a brunette was to put down other women. The Put Downer’s favourite joke would go:
Put Downer: What’s the mating call of a blonde?
Me (being polite) I don’t know.
“Gee I’m drunk.” I’d smile or giggle depending on how much I’d had to drink.
Put Downer: What’s the mating call of a redhead?
Me deciding to further shove away my college education: “I don’t know”
Put Downer: “Gee I’m lonely.”
I’d smile knowing the third part of the joke and wondering if it was really worth it to have this guy sit down with my girlfriend and me to laugh but knowing deep down I was enough of an alcoholic, I would.
Put Downer: What’s the mating call of a brunette?
Odds are if you are reading this you are now rolling your eyes because you know how the rest of the story goes. He says “Have all the damn blondes and redheads left yet”, I laugh, he sits down, his buddy joins us and the rest of the evening passes by with the two men buying us at least one drink, me laughing at the lame jokes, my girlfriend going home with one of the men and me announcing I have a boyfriend, I’m just here to keep my girlfriend company.
Then there is the Macho Man who has evolved beyond the “You’re cute, what’s your sign?” and uses as a pick up line “What music do you like?” Once I decided to drift back to my country roots, I had my own standard line. “I like both types of music.” I’d pause, grin and with a full fledge prairie drawl say “Country and Western”. Macho Man would usually leave skid marks because any woman who admits to being both country and western usually will eventually bring up the whole white picket fence, 2.3 children and mini-van lifestyle.
Desperate Man will give the same fake laugh I use for the Put Downer’s joke, talk about Willie Nelson, forewarn his friend the younger brunette is dangerous before joining our table and be careful how much money he spent on me.
Thankfully next month it will have been thirteen years since I gave up that lifestyle. I wouldn’t go back to it for anything; on the other hand, those memories tend to come back Victoria Day Long weekend because that’s when I decided to embrace the bar lifestyle for about six years. It’s also why the first six years of my twenties are a hazy blur. Be careful this weekend as you venture out to the bars. Heads you’ll run into an intelligent person, tails you’ll run into someone who will hustle you.
Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise use knowledge properly; but the mouth of fools pour out foolishness.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
It's Worship Wednesday!
I recently pointed out the more you kick God out of your country, the more you let Satan take hold of your country. I started thinking, however, that doesn’t just apply to countries but to your own life. There isn’t much point in faithfully donating $350 a month to the church if as soon as you get out of the parking lot you forget everything you’ve heard until next Sunday. The lowly loonie you put in the collection basket, however, has more meaning if you apply what you’ve learned to your life as soon as you get up from your chair or pew. Although this is a joke, it does illustrate my point.
A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there is no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin fall. Ten minutes went by. Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting." His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a soldier just released from active duty and newly registered in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him butt over tea-cups from his lofty platform. The professor was out cold! At first the students were shocked and babbled in confusion. The young soldier took a seat in the front row and sat silent. The class fell silent...waiting. Eventually, the professor came to, shaken. He looked at the young soldier in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?""God was busy. He sent me."
To me this guy wasn’t just a soldier, he was also a redneck. The polite thing to do would have been to get into a debate with the professor. Every redneck knows there is a time when you say to heck with political correctness.
There are many ways you can be more Christ-like at your job, at school or at your daily activities. It is up to you to listen and trust God for his guidance. Be still long enough to hear God, be accepting of hat he tells you and be Christ-like as you regard today as Worship Wednesday.
Proverbs 14:5 A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies.
A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there is no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin fall. Ten minutes went by. Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting." His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a soldier just released from active duty and newly registered in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him butt over tea-cups from his lofty platform. The professor was out cold! At first the students were shocked and babbled in confusion. The young soldier took a seat in the front row and sat silent. The class fell silent...waiting. Eventually, the professor came to, shaken. He looked at the young soldier in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?""God was busy. He sent me."
To me this guy wasn’t just a soldier, he was also a redneck. The polite thing to do would have been to get into a debate with the professor. Every redneck knows there is a time when you say to heck with political correctness.
There are many ways you can be more Christ-like at your job, at school or at your daily activities. It is up to you to listen and trust God for his guidance. Be still long enough to hear God, be accepting of hat he tells you and be Christ-like as you regard today as Worship Wednesday.
Proverbs 14:5 A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Hockey People
When you are at a party or in the bar, you really have to be cautious about Hockey Guy. I don’t mean someone who has any combination of a missing tooth, firm thighs or strong arms, I mean the guy whose opening line is “How bout them Flames” or if you are in northern Alberta “How bout them Oilers?” If he waxes eloquently about the last game, talks about the upcoming game and compares the current team to the team of the’80’s, do not give this man your phone number unless you enjoy hockey. You have to be careful of the other extreme, who simply rattles off the score and gets the opposing team wrong. This guy is usually either still living with his mom or has been messed up by a previous woman. He is trying to avoid cheesey pickup lines and is using a safe line.
Unfortunately this line is also used by anti-hockey guy who is trying to determine if you like hockey. There are men out there who do not like Canada’s glorious sport. If you enjoy hockey, steer clear of this man. Unlike women, men who do not like hockey cannot be converted. A redneck woman can be counted on to humour her friends and watch a game or two, especially if it is the playoffs or the Olympics. Oddly enough, men who do not like hockey also do not like figure skating. I thought I’d slip that in because both Lug and I have had gay friends who do not like figure skating but do like hockey. Unless you want to forever change your perspective about hockey, do not ask a gay man why he likes hockey.
Hockey Gals can also be dangerous. They are the ones who will not gush and say “oh how thoughtful” when you buy tickets to the game that come with a complimentary oxygen mask. They want tickets that you do not need binoculars to watch the game. Prairie redneck women are secure enough; they have no qualms about saying how cute a player is. They can be counted on to bring a camera to any special games, such as a jersey being retired or a playoff banner being raised. The down side to Hockey Gals is they can also be counted on to make a direct beeline for the clothing store at the rink and will rationalize something $40 off to be an excuse to buy even more things. Like the stereotype that if a man does not like hockey, he must be gay, women who like hockey shop the same way as any other woman does.
As with Hockey Guy, Hockey Gal is proceed with caution in the bars. Do not take her to a bar nearby the rink on game night. She knows every player by sight off ice and at the first sign of even a third string defenseman, will be off like a shot to buy him a drink. Each season her main goal is to get her jersey autographed by every team member by the end of the season. A woman who loves hockey is safe because she is usually mature enough she won’t obsess about hockey players. Whether you encounter a Hockey Gal or a Hockey Woman, unless you really enjoy the sport, don’t get too chummy with her.
The more indifferent you are to hockey, the more you need to avoid The Hockey Couple. This is the couple that plans their whole life around the hockey team. You can count on them to have in the background not music but the hockey game, whether it is televised or on radio. At a party, if you innocently throw out the conversational line relating to the team, you will get a ten minute monologue, in stereo, about the game. They are the cute couple who usually have his and hers jerseys. There is inevitably a hockey game that played an integral part in their early dating days or he’ll be one of those guys who proposed to her via the Jumbotron.
Run; do not walk away, from anyone who jokes about how they have a mixed relationship Alberta style unless you love to hear debates about whose team is better, the Flames or the Oilers. This couple usually will start out with gentle barbs about the teams. From there it will deteriorate into a discussion about which city is better, Edmonton or Calgary. This can be amusing. Take the high road and just let them have their exchange. The usual conversational changes such as “how bout that weather” will just add fuel to the fire by a discussion of Northern Alberta weather versus Southern Alberta.
Some year the Cup will return to Alberta. Until then, each season one group of fans is bound to hold their heads high and say with pride "At least the Flames made it further then the Oilers" or "How do Calgarians spell 'Dynasty'? O-n-e."
Proverbs 13:16 Every prudent man deals with knowledge: but a fool lays open his folly.
Unfortunately this line is also used by anti-hockey guy who is trying to determine if you like hockey. There are men out there who do not like Canada’s glorious sport. If you enjoy hockey, steer clear of this man. Unlike women, men who do not like hockey cannot be converted. A redneck woman can be counted on to humour her friends and watch a game or two, especially if it is the playoffs or the Olympics. Oddly enough, men who do not like hockey also do not like figure skating. I thought I’d slip that in because both Lug and I have had gay friends who do not like figure skating but do like hockey. Unless you want to forever change your perspective about hockey, do not ask a gay man why he likes hockey.
Hockey Gals can also be dangerous. They are the ones who will not gush and say “oh how thoughtful” when you buy tickets to the game that come with a complimentary oxygen mask. They want tickets that you do not need binoculars to watch the game. Prairie redneck women are secure enough; they have no qualms about saying how cute a player is. They can be counted on to bring a camera to any special games, such as a jersey being retired or a playoff banner being raised. The down side to Hockey Gals is they can also be counted on to make a direct beeline for the clothing store at the rink and will rationalize something $40 off to be an excuse to buy even more things. Like the stereotype that if a man does not like hockey, he must be gay, women who like hockey shop the same way as any other woman does.
As with Hockey Guy, Hockey Gal is proceed with caution in the bars. Do not take her to a bar nearby the rink on game night. She knows every player by sight off ice and at the first sign of even a third string defenseman, will be off like a shot to buy him a drink. Each season her main goal is to get her jersey autographed by every team member by the end of the season. A woman who loves hockey is safe because she is usually mature enough she won’t obsess about hockey players. Whether you encounter a Hockey Gal or a Hockey Woman, unless you really enjoy the sport, don’t get too chummy with her.
The more indifferent you are to hockey, the more you need to avoid The Hockey Couple. This is the couple that plans their whole life around the hockey team. You can count on them to have in the background not music but the hockey game, whether it is televised or on radio. At a party, if you innocently throw out the conversational line relating to the team, you will get a ten minute monologue, in stereo, about the game. They are the cute couple who usually have his and hers jerseys. There is inevitably a hockey game that played an integral part in their early dating days or he’ll be one of those guys who proposed to her via the Jumbotron.
Run; do not walk away, from anyone who jokes about how they have a mixed relationship Alberta style unless you love to hear debates about whose team is better, the Flames or the Oilers. This couple usually will start out with gentle barbs about the teams. From there it will deteriorate into a discussion about which city is better, Edmonton or Calgary. This can be amusing. Take the high road and just let them have their exchange. The usual conversational changes such as “how bout that weather” will just add fuel to the fire by a discussion of Northern Alberta weather versus Southern Alberta.
Some year the Cup will return to Alberta. Until then, each season one group of fans is bound to hold their heads high and say with pride "At least the Flames made it further then the Oilers" or "How do Calgarians spell 'Dynasty'? O-n-e."
Proverbs 13:16 Every prudent man deals with knowledge: but a fool lays open his folly.
Monday, May 12, 2008
What A Monday!
What are the odds that both my laptop and my computer would develop technical difficulties? I have a new flat screen monitor because according to Big Lug when your monitor makes a banging noise, it's croaked and beyond repair. As for my laptop, I'll plead guilty I don't like using a touch pad and I didn't know how to change the battery. I do now.
It's now 8:45 pm as I type this. Big Lug has pointedly said he is ready whenever I am. Before your minds go into overdrive, it's to watch Hell's Kitchen. I wonder how many people see Hell's Kitchen and pray they never go to a restaurant with rookie chefs? This will be a short one, due to the time factor.
Proverbs 12:3 KJV A man shall not be established by wickedness: but the root of the righteous shall not be moved.
It's now 8:45 pm as I type this. Big Lug has pointedly said he is ready whenever I am. Before your minds go into overdrive, it's to watch Hell's Kitchen. I wonder how many people see Hell's Kitchen and pray they never go to a restaurant with rookie chefs? This will be a short one, due to the time factor.
Proverbs 12:3 KJV A man shall not be established by wickedness: but the root of the righteous shall not be moved.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Mothers
My Mother
By Mrs. Kathy Jensen
My Mother’s hands make sweet treats
that pleasantly greet my nose when I come in from play.
My Mother’s smile can brighten up my day
My Mother’s arm make the cares of the world go away.
My Mother’s prayers cover me, should I stray
Instilling a love, for my God above
My love,
My encourager,
My friend,
My angel on earth,
My Mother.
Thanks Mrs. J. for creating an inspirational poem for both young and old Mothers!
Today is Mother's Day. Back in 2005 I reacted the wrong way to some information my parents gave me. If I could go back in time, I would ask my mom why she was telling me what she told me, and I wouldn't have asked my dad if my mom was telling me the truth. I guess in a way I know the truth and the truth has set me free. There is a Dolly Parton song about letting go because she's not fit for the person she loves but she will always love that person.
There are many ways my mom did right by me. It is from her I get my love of cooking and baking. She taught me to appreciate the simple things in life and not yearn for name brands when a store brand would suffice. She taught me to be respectful in church and if I didn't understand something, look it up in the dictionary. As I grew older, I went from looking up words in the dictionary to reading books, participating in studies and even having the courage to saying to the pastor "I don't understand what you meant."
She taught me that using public transit is a convenience, not a hassle. It wasn't until I was 12 years old she got a driver's license. My son, like his mom and uncle before him, goes to the library, the pool, the fitness center and other places by bus. I even say one of her Momisms. I find myself saying to my son "Don't worry you don't have the same toy as John or Jane, enjoy what you have."
That attitude carries over to my own life, especially now that I am 40 years old. I find more and more I understand what she meant when she said "Life isn't fair, life isn't unfair, life just is." I find when I treat life as is; it seems to go much smoother than when I worry about whether or not I am being unfair. Last night during the teaching time at church, Pastor Grant gave an inspirational message about the power of God. One of the questions he asked of the congregation is "How much of God are people getting when they get you." It made me think that the earthly life just is, but the Heavenly life is something that can be achieved if we work at.
I can't go back in time, my mom won't know about this, but I will. Happy Mother's Day Mom! I will always love you! The proverb that I have picked for today is a tribute to my mom’s love of knitting. Her love of wool work is why I enjoy to crochet.
Proverbs 31:19 She stretches out her hand to the distaff, and her hands to the spindle.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Happy Happy Ouch Ouch
I know the original song goes "Happy Happy Joy Joy" (yes there was a time in my life when I watched Rem and Stimpy) but with the way my morning went, the other version seems more accurate.
The first Happy: Nothing like going by a store the day before Mother's Day and seeing "Buy one, get one 50% off" to give a woman a great gift idea. The strange thing is it's a store I normally don't pay any attention to. Kidlet seemed puzzled how we going into a store meant I got a Mother's Day present
The first Ouch: The reason why I did what I did is because Big Lug is going to be working the whole weekend. That's not normal for our household. Unfortunately he didn't know until Wednesday he'd be working long hours the rest of the week which meant he hasn't had time to take Kidlet shopping for Mother's Day.
The second Ouch: Let me give you a tip regarding fitness centers. If they are advertising a 35 Day Extreme Body Makeover, focus on all the words, not just “35 Day Body Makeover". Let's just say halfway through the initial work out I found myself thinking "there is a reason why it's called Extreme." Thankfully by the end of it, I found myself thinking I could handle the next 34 days. Let's just say as I type this, I have finally come to understand that 1980's terms "feel the burn". This isn't just a cutesy chick thing; the group was 50/50 gender and age mix.
The second Happy: Since Kidlet seemed a bit disappointed he didn't get to pick me anything for Mother's Day, I told him while I was buying my bus tickets at Safeway he could go to the flower section and pick me out something. I didn't factor in that an almost 6 year old would just care about looks, not price. I'll be proper and post a picture of the flowers tomorrow. Suffice it to say I am now the proud owner of several gorgeous Pink and Red Azalea plants in a 6.5 inch pot.
Remember, even if it's a dollar store card or a long distance phone call, remember Mama by tomorrow. Here's something interesting to think about. Mother's Day is one of the Sunday's there is NOT a big league stock car race. God, Mama and Country are important to us Rednecks.
Proverbs 10:1 The proverbs of Solomon. A wise child makes a glad father: but a foolish child is the heaviness of his mother.
The first Happy: Nothing like going by a store the day before Mother's Day and seeing "Buy one, get one 50% off" to give a woman a great gift idea. The strange thing is it's a store I normally don't pay any attention to. Kidlet seemed puzzled how we going into a store meant I got a Mother's Day present
The first Ouch: The reason why I did what I did is because Big Lug is going to be working the whole weekend. That's not normal for our household. Unfortunately he didn't know until Wednesday he'd be working long hours the rest of the week which meant he hasn't had time to take Kidlet shopping for Mother's Day.
The second Ouch: Let me give you a tip regarding fitness centers. If they are advertising a 35 Day Extreme Body Makeover, focus on all the words, not just “35 Day Body Makeover". Let's just say halfway through the initial work out I found myself thinking "there is a reason why it's called Extreme." Thankfully by the end of it, I found myself thinking I could handle the next 34 days. Let's just say as I type this, I have finally come to understand that 1980's terms "feel the burn". This isn't just a cutesy chick thing; the group was 50/50 gender and age mix.
The second Happy: Since Kidlet seemed a bit disappointed he didn't get to pick me anything for Mother's Day, I told him while I was buying my bus tickets at Safeway he could go to the flower section and pick me out something. I didn't factor in that an almost 6 year old would just care about looks, not price. I'll be proper and post a picture of the flowers tomorrow. Suffice it to say I am now the proud owner of several gorgeous Pink and Red Azalea plants in a 6.5 inch pot.
Remember, even if it's a dollar store card or a long distance phone call, remember Mama by tomorrow. Here's something interesting to think about. Mother's Day is one of the Sunday's there is NOT a big league stock car race. God, Mama and Country are important to us Rednecks.
Proverbs 10:1 The proverbs of Solomon. A wise child makes a glad father: but a foolish child is the heaviness of his mother.
Friday, May 9, 2008
The Retrosexual Man
My tomboy streak is front and center today. I was originally going to do a tribute piece to my aunts since Mother's Day is fast approaching. I've changed my plans and decided to do a piece devoted to a special type of man, the sort of man that makes me think of what Redneck Males are truly about.
The RetroSexual Code:
A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV. A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.
A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.
A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.
A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an end cap (possibly 2 end caps if you include shaving goods.)
A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.
A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.
A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.
A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major re-invention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.
A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, or favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention to you. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.
A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.
A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot.
A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.
A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.
A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot.
Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part.
A Retrosexual man's favorite movie isn't "Maid in Manhattan" (unless that refers to some foxy French maid sitting in a huge tub of brandy or whiskey), or "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood." Acceptable ones may include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in his better days), any Rambo, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy, Scarface, The Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, any Rocky, Full Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt, any Bruce Lee movie, Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, etc.
When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.
A Retrosexual knows the words to O’ Canada and out of respect to American’s the Star Spangled Banner.
A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.
A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.
A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20 mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride on a plow berm.
A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land.
A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except officers above 2nd Lt) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.
A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.
A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT!!!!
This verse from Proverbs seems to fit in with the Retrosexual Man's code.
Proverbs 23: 16 KJV He that oppresseth the poor to increase his riches, and he that giveth to the rich, shall surely come to want.
The RetroSexual Code:
A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV. A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.
A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.
A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.
A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an end cap (possibly 2 end caps if you include shaving goods.)
A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.
A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.
A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.
A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major re-invention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.
A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, or favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention to you. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.
A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.
A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot.
A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.
A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.
A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot.
Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part.
A Retrosexual man's favorite movie isn't "Maid in Manhattan" (unless that refers to some foxy French maid sitting in a huge tub of brandy or whiskey), or "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood." Acceptable ones may include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in his better days), any Rambo, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy, Scarface, The Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, any Rocky, Full Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt, any Bruce Lee movie, Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, etc.
When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.
A Retrosexual knows the words to O’ Canada and out of respect to American’s the Star Spangled Banner.
A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.
A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.
A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20 mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride on a plow berm.
A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land.
A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except officers above 2nd Lt) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.
A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.
A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT!!!!
This verse from Proverbs seems to fit in with the Retrosexual Man's code.
Proverbs 23: 16 KJV He that oppresseth the poor to increase his riches, and he that giveth to the rich, shall surely come to want.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
On the Air
Back in July of 1998 Big Lug got reacquainted with an old friend. Robby-Roy was already at that age when you listen to mainly country music and told Hubby he should listen to Country 105’s Odd Squad for the laugh value. Due to Hubby occasionally giving me rides to the train station, I soon found myself listening to the Odd Squad instead of rock.
I started enjoying listening to Doug, Robyn, and Dan. When the office changed the location of the filing room I changed my mind about being too young to listen to country music all day. I needed a radio to break the quietness of the file room. At first I listened to a talk radio station. After an embarrassing minute when a 65 year old male co-worker listened to Dr. Laura talking to a woman whose husband had lost interest in love making, I realized I needed to listen to something else. Country music seemed like a safe choice and since I got lousy AM reception, I started listening to 105. Once Big Lug knew I was listening to Country 105 at work, he started paying attention to which country music acts were coming to Calgary. I knew I had truly become assimilated when I bought a Walkman to ensure I could listen to 105 during the commute to and from work.
When I got a cell phone it became fun to call into the Odd Squad on my way to work in the morning to chat. I started to feel like the radio announcers were my friends. As a way of saying thank you for making my day better or my nights less lonely, I would bring in some baking. The baking days came to an end when we moved to suburbia and started raising a family.
Country 105 became a lifeline to the outside world. There were even a few times when I’d call in to the night time radio announcer to thank him or her for helping make the late night feedings easier. They also helped me gain an insight into the redneck mentality and I helped enlightened them about the technogeek mentality.
Me: What is it about men and playoff beards?
Robyn: Over to you Dan.
Dan: Well this year I think the Flames are doing bad haircuts (laughter from all).
Me: As soon as it announced the Flames were in the playoffs my husband stopped shaving.
Odd Squad: (laughter)
Robyn//Doug/Dan: Oh that's just a superstition thing. Yeah, guys like to do that. I might even try it.
Me: I'm watching my husband scrape the truck window and he looks like a scruffy Nerfherder.
Odd Squad: silence that almost becomes dead air space.
Me: You know, from Star Wars Empire Strikes Back?
Odd Squad: Obviously we don't know Star Wars as well as you do, Gail
Me: Oh. Well having just outed myself as a technogeek, I'm going to gracefully wish you all a good morning and get off the phone.
Odd Squad: Laughter and general "Have a good day" comments.
I get off the phone, I'm blushing and thinking "Please God don't let them play the whole conversation." Next I'm beginning a countdown for the phone to ring after they play the whole conversation. Sure enough, just as I get to 3-2-1 Call Display shows Big Lug’s Cell Phone.
Big Lug: "Scruffy NERFHERDER?" laughter
Me: "Yeah yeah, now I'm hoping no one else we know was listening to Country 105."
Forty five minutes later the phone rings. This time call display shows it’s my husband phoning from work. The receptionist apparently greeted him with “good morning Mr. Nerfherder”.
After that, I stopped worrying about what I said when I phoned in to the Odd Squad, relaxed and let the real me shine. In addition to the Flames, the Odd Squad could also count on me to call in about the Stampeders and even stock car racing. I suspect at times Dan or Doug would try to bait me. I officially arrived the morning after I returned from a trip to Phoenix to watch all three NASCAR races. To my delight, I only had to wait four rings before the phone was picked up. Even more amazing, I heard Dan say “Heyyyyyyy Phoenix! How was your trip?” I could hear Doug talking to someone in the background. They kept me on the phone for almost four minutes. I kept listening to the radio, wondering what their plan was. They introduced the interview as “A Conversation with Crazy NASCAR Lady”. I am redneck enough to take great pride in that nickname.
Here is a recipe for all those who get up early in the morning to make people laugh, save lives, protect, and feed or cleanup for the public.
Breakfast Cookies
2 cups butter, at room temperature
2 cups brown sugar
4 eggs
¼ cup buttermilk
2 cups whole wheat flour
2 cups unbleached flour
4 cups rolled oats (large flake oats)
¼ cup bran
2 tsp baking soda
1 tbsp baking powder
¾ cup chocolate chips
¾ cup raisins
½ cup nuts (I use walnuts)
1. Preheat oven to 350
2. In a bowl cream butter and sugar. Beat in eggs, one at a time; mix in buttermilk.
3. In a separate bowl, combine whole wheat flour, unbleached flour, oats, bran, baking soda, baking powder, chocolate chips, and nuts until mixed. Stir into creamed mixture until well blended.
4. Scoop about ½ cup dough onto greased baking sheet, flattening into a cookie shape (these cookies don’t spread much). Bake for 15 to 20 minute or until golden brown. I kept these cookies in an airtight container for almost two weeks. At day 12 they still seemed as fresh as day one.
Proverbs 31:15 She rises while it is still night, and provides for her household, and a portion for others.
They rise while it is yet night, and provide for others.
Paraphrased in honour and memory of Corporal Michael Starker, former paramedic and reservist who died Tuesday May 6, 2008 in southern Afghanistan when his patrol came under fire during an ambush.
I started enjoying listening to Doug, Robyn, and Dan. When the office changed the location of the filing room I changed my mind about being too young to listen to country music all day. I needed a radio to break the quietness of the file room. At first I listened to a talk radio station. After an embarrassing minute when a 65 year old male co-worker listened to Dr. Laura talking to a woman whose husband had lost interest in love making, I realized I needed to listen to something else. Country music seemed like a safe choice and since I got lousy AM reception, I started listening to 105. Once Big Lug knew I was listening to Country 105 at work, he started paying attention to which country music acts were coming to Calgary. I knew I had truly become assimilated when I bought a Walkman to ensure I could listen to 105 during the commute to and from work.
When I got a cell phone it became fun to call into the Odd Squad on my way to work in the morning to chat. I started to feel like the radio announcers were my friends. As a way of saying thank you for making my day better or my nights less lonely, I would bring in some baking. The baking days came to an end when we moved to suburbia and started raising a family.
Country 105 became a lifeline to the outside world. There were even a few times when I’d call in to the night time radio announcer to thank him or her for helping make the late night feedings easier. They also helped me gain an insight into the redneck mentality and I helped enlightened them about the technogeek mentality.
Me: What is it about men and playoff beards?
Robyn: Over to you Dan.
Dan: Well this year I think the Flames are doing bad haircuts (laughter from all).
Me: As soon as it announced the Flames were in the playoffs my husband stopped shaving.
Odd Squad: (laughter)
Robyn//Doug/Dan: Oh that's just a superstition thing. Yeah, guys like to do that. I might even try it.
Me: I'm watching my husband scrape the truck window and he looks like a scruffy Nerfherder.
Odd Squad: silence that almost becomes dead air space.
Me: You know, from Star Wars Empire Strikes Back?
Odd Squad: Obviously we don't know Star Wars as well as you do, Gail
Me: Oh. Well having just outed myself as a technogeek, I'm going to gracefully wish you all a good morning and get off the phone.
Odd Squad: Laughter and general "Have a good day" comments.
I get off the phone, I'm blushing and thinking "Please God don't let them play the whole conversation." Next I'm beginning a countdown for the phone to ring after they play the whole conversation. Sure enough, just as I get to 3-2-1 Call Display shows Big Lug’s Cell Phone.
Big Lug: "Scruffy NERFHERDER?" laughter
Me: "Yeah yeah, now I'm hoping no one else we know was listening to Country 105."
Forty five minutes later the phone rings. This time call display shows it’s my husband phoning from work. The receptionist apparently greeted him with “good morning Mr. Nerfherder”.
After that, I stopped worrying about what I said when I phoned in to the Odd Squad, relaxed and let the real me shine. In addition to the Flames, the Odd Squad could also count on me to call in about the Stampeders and even stock car racing. I suspect at times Dan or Doug would try to bait me. I officially arrived the morning after I returned from a trip to Phoenix to watch all three NASCAR races. To my delight, I only had to wait four rings before the phone was picked up. Even more amazing, I heard Dan say “Heyyyyyyy Phoenix! How was your trip?” I could hear Doug talking to someone in the background. They kept me on the phone for almost four minutes. I kept listening to the radio, wondering what their plan was. They introduced the interview as “A Conversation with Crazy NASCAR Lady”. I am redneck enough to take great pride in that nickname.
Here is a recipe for all those who get up early in the morning to make people laugh, save lives, protect, and feed or cleanup for the public.
Breakfast Cookies
2 cups butter, at room temperature
2 cups brown sugar
4 eggs
¼ cup buttermilk
2 cups whole wheat flour
2 cups unbleached flour
4 cups rolled oats (large flake oats)
¼ cup bran
2 tsp baking soda
1 tbsp baking powder
¾ cup chocolate chips
¾ cup raisins
½ cup nuts (I use walnuts)
1. Preheat oven to 350
2. In a bowl cream butter and sugar. Beat in eggs, one at a time; mix in buttermilk.
3. In a separate bowl, combine whole wheat flour, unbleached flour, oats, bran, baking soda, baking powder, chocolate chips, and nuts until mixed. Stir into creamed mixture until well blended.
4. Scoop about ½ cup dough onto greased baking sheet, flattening into a cookie shape (these cookies don’t spread much). Bake for 15 to 20 minute or until golden brown. I kept these cookies in an airtight container for almost two weeks. At day 12 they still seemed as fresh as day one.
Proverbs 31:15 She rises while it is still night, and provides for her household, and a portion for others.
They rise while it is yet night, and provide for others.
Paraphrased in honour and memory of Corporal Michael Starker, former paramedic and reservist who died Tuesday May 6, 2008 in southern Afghanistan when his patrol came under fire during an ambush.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
It's Hump Day!
It’s Hump Day! I’ve never been able to figure out why Wednesday is called Hump Day. Some people say it’s because it’s the middle of the week. My friend Kathie-Lee, however, claims it’s called Hump Day for a different reason in her house. Kathie-Lee and her husband Heehaw like to journal. At least that’s how Kathie-Lee encouraged Heehaw to write down his thoughts. When I told Kathie-Lee I was suffering from some writer’s block, she graciously shared with me their entries from last Wednesday.
As part of Worship Wednesday, Heehaw decided he’d take pleasure in all the things that Christ blessed him with during the day instead of focusing on the negative things that happened to him. Kathie-Lee, decided to take pleasure in her job of Domestic Engineer and not focus on the negatives as well as to be patient throughout the day.
The Diary of Heehaw
6:00 a.m. Coffee! My favourite thing!
6:30 a.m. A shower with Kathie-Lee! My favourite thing!
7:00 a.m. No traffic delays! My favourite thing!
7:40 a.m. Nashville Kat on Country 105! My favourite thing!
12:00 p.m. Lunch! My favourite thing!
12:30 p.m. A nooner! My favourite thing!
3:00 p.m. Tim Horton’s Donuts! My favourite thing!
5:00 p.m. Hamburgers and Home Fries! My favourite thing!
7:30 p.m. Read Lil Heehaw a bedtime story! My favourite thing!
8:00p.m. Wow! Watched TV with Kathie-Lee! My favourite thing!
10:00 p.m. Read NASCAR Scene! My favourite thing!
The Diary of Kathie-Lee:
Morning: I woke up to the sound of the coffee maker. Heehaw forgot to tell me he had it set to start at six. That thing sounds like it’s going to go into orbit and I can’t sleep through it. I figured as long as I was awake, I might as well have a shower with Heehaw and save some water. I think he was hoping we’d do more in the shower than get soapy. I turned up the radio at 7 a.m.. I’m glad Country 105 has a traffic helicopter. It makes it easier to get Heehaw out the door when he knows how the traffic is going in suburbia. The Odd Squad is doing great today. Nashville Kat was given some wrong information from Jeff Foxworthy. There is a city that does have a library with not only his book, but also five different sound recordings of his. You might be redneck eh if your library is well stocked with Foxworthy and it’s all signed out with requests. Heehaw said he’d probably be home for lunch. Lil Heehaw will be thrilled his daddy is comin home for lunch.
Afternoon: Heehaw came home for lunch. He was real complimentary about how much housework I did, the lunch I made and how I looked. Lil Heehaw enjoyed watching a kiddy show while Heehaw and I went into the bedroom. I think I’ll make Heehaw’s favourite supper tonight.
Dangit. Heehaw phoned me all excited because there were still some donuts left on his afternoon break. He knows I’m trying to lose some weight. I told him his stock car racing newspaper had arrived. It sure doesn’t take much to get him excited. I gotta remember to take the hamburger out to thaw. Lil Heehaw is bugging for Burgers and Tater tots. I’ll make oven fries because they are healthier and get some greens in Heehaw with a salad.
Evening: Heehaw decided I could do tub time and he’d read to Lil Heehaw. I love how he’s enlightened enough to parent instead of putting it all on me. We had fun tonight watching The Rick Mercer Report and Little Mosque on The Prairie. That PVR sure is a handy thing, letting us watch shows we’ve already recorded while recording something else. Heehaw just said “Hey Kathie-Lee, got something to share with you if you’ve got a sec.” I might as well go see what he wants to tell me about.
I need to remember the more interest I show in the latest breaking news on Jayskis; the longer Heehaw will share it with me. Oh well, at least I’ll sleep well.
Proverbs 12:2 A good person obtains favour of the Lord; but a person of wicked intentions will be condemned by the Lord.
As part of Worship Wednesday, Heehaw decided he’d take pleasure in all the things that Christ blessed him with during the day instead of focusing on the negative things that happened to him. Kathie-Lee, decided to take pleasure in her job of Domestic Engineer and not focus on the negatives as well as to be patient throughout the day.
The Diary of Heehaw
6:00 a.m. Coffee! My favourite thing!
6:30 a.m. A shower with Kathie-Lee! My favourite thing!
7:00 a.m. No traffic delays! My favourite thing!
7:40 a.m. Nashville Kat on Country 105! My favourite thing!
12:00 p.m. Lunch! My favourite thing!
12:30 p.m. A nooner! My favourite thing!
3:00 p.m. Tim Horton’s Donuts! My favourite thing!
5:00 p.m. Hamburgers and Home Fries! My favourite thing!
7:30 p.m. Read Lil Heehaw a bedtime story! My favourite thing!
8:00p.m. Wow! Watched TV with Kathie-Lee! My favourite thing!
10:00 p.m. Read NASCAR Scene! My favourite thing!
The Diary of Kathie-Lee:
Morning: I woke up to the sound of the coffee maker. Heehaw forgot to tell me he had it set to start at six. That thing sounds like it’s going to go into orbit and I can’t sleep through it. I figured as long as I was awake, I might as well have a shower with Heehaw and save some water. I think he was hoping we’d do more in the shower than get soapy. I turned up the radio at 7 a.m.. I’m glad Country 105 has a traffic helicopter. It makes it easier to get Heehaw out the door when he knows how the traffic is going in suburbia. The Odd Squad is doing great today. Nashville Kat was given some wrong information from Jeff Foxworthy. There is a city that does have a library with not only his book, but also five different sound recordings of his. You might be redneck eh if your library is well stocked with Foxworthy and it’s all signed out with requests. Heehaw said he’d probably be home for lunch. Lil Heehaw will be thrilled his daddy is comin home for lunch.
Afternoon: Heehaw came home for lunch. He was real complimentary about how much housework I did, the lunch I made and how I looked. Lil Heehaw enjoyed watching a kiddy show while Heehaw and I went into the bedroom. I think I’ll make Heehaw’s favourite supper tonight.
Dangit. Heehaw phoned me all excited because there were still some donuts left on his afternoon break. He knows I’m trying to lose some weight. I told him his stock car racing newspaper had arrived. It sure doesn’t take much to get him excited. I gotta remember to take the hamburger out to thaw. Lil Heehaw is bugging for Burgers and Tater tots. I’ll make oven fries because they are healthier and get some greens in Heehaw with a salad.
Evening: Heehaw decided I could do tub time and he’d read to Lil Heehaw. I love how he’s enlightened enough to parent instead of putting it all on me. We had fun tonight watching The Rick Mercer Report and Little Mosque on The Prairie. That PVR sure is a handy thing, letting us watch shows we’ve already recorded while recording something else. Heehaw just said “Hey Kathie-Lee, got something to share with you if you’ve got a sec.” I might as well go see what he wants to tell me about.
I need to remember the more interest I show in the latest breaking news on Jayskis; the longer Heehaw will share it with me. Oh well, at least I’ll sleep well.
Proverbs 12:2 A good person obtains favour of the Lord; but a person of wicked intentions will be condemned by the Lord.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Best of Intentions
Today's blog was initially going to be about how to improve your financial situation. Having just spent over $200 on day camps for Kidlet, I feel like I am on weak ground. Ever notice that the Frugal Living type books always talk about the virtues of taking your children for day trips to a park in a different neighbourhod, or a long bus ride, or take advantage of free programs the library offers or instead of the swimming pool, turn the sprinkler on. The Living on the Cheap gurus talk about taking your children for picnics in the park, exchanging families for a day to give the kids a change of pace or have the siblings pretend they are all the same age. Notice all those are pluralized? It's like the writers and authours assume if you have one child, you must have tons of money and can just put them in camp the whole summer. I understand for larger families it's not as much the cost because they budget for it as trying to find camps that will make three different kids three different ages happy or in one case, triples with different interests. After a few changes in plans due to typos, plus some input from my son, for one week in the mornings in July he will be in a Swim/Craft/Games type daycamp and in August I'll have the experience of being without my son all day for a week while he indulges his love of science. I'll just spend the rest of the spring and all of summer penny pinching to defray the cost.
There are some ways to save money. I call it the nickel and dime principle. I find it's not the loonie or twoonies that tend to make me go gosh darnit, its things like spending $1.35 for a small fruit salad at Safeway because I was rushed and forgot to grab an apple from the basket. I have another friend who realized that if she brought four ounces of cooked meat to work, she could swing by McDonald's, order small fries and a side salad, put the meat from home in the salad and get her junk food fix while saving a few bucks. Another man realized that by Supersizing his weekly junk food indulgence, he was doing himself out of about $30.00 a year. He took that $30.00 and used it to make a donation to Samaritan's Purse at Christmas time. It's easy to industriously go through eight different flyers to get the best price on electronics or vehicle parts. It's hard to think about the ninety-nine cents here, sixty cents there that can add up over the month. If you don't believe me, try for the next month to at least analyze how frequently you spent the extra forty cents getting something big or the few extra dollars because you didn't bring a snack from home.
I have a special eating lifestyle that is in part due to food intolerance, in part due to the fact after I did it for about three months I realized even with the cost of mainly organic food and supplements; I was still saving about $25-30 a month depending on how well I followed Ann Louise Gittleman's Fat Flush Plan. I never realized how much money Fat Flushing was saving me until someone mentioned how much granola bars, animal shaped crackers and her special fancy coffees cost her every time she went out with the kids. Thanks to Fat Flush, I would bring my own snacks from homes, which were usually fresh fruit or vegetables plus cheese for Kidlet and water flavoured with homemade cranberry juice for myself. Under the category of like mother, like son, both my son and I get just as sugar buzzed off full strength fruit juice as we would off pop.
I think God blesses us with the wisdom to know what we can safely eat and what we can't. We need to respect other people's eating lifestyles. For some people, it could just be wanting to live more frugally, for others it could be food intolerances or even allergies. As well, all over the Bible are mentions of not over indulging. I don't think going to Wendy's or McDonalds will send you straight to Hell, although your doctor might give you Hell for eating places like that on a daily basis but I do believe that God would like us to think before we open our pocketbook or whip out our bank card to make a food purchase.
Proverbs 6:6-8 Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise, which having no captain, overseer or ruler, provides her supplies iin the summer and gathers her food in the harvest.
There are some ways to save money. I call it the nickel and dime principle. I find it's not the loonie or twoonies that tend to make me go gosh darnit, its things like spending $1.35 for a small fruit salad at Safeway because I was rushed and forgot to grab an apple from the basket. I have another friend who realized that if she brought four ounces of cooked meat to work, she could swing by McDonald's, order small fries and a side salad, put the meat from home in the salad and get her junk food fix while saving a few bucks. Another man realized that by Supersizing his weekly junk food indulgence, he was doing himself out of about $30.00 a year. He took that $30.00 and used it to make a donation to Samaritan's Purse at Christmas time. It's easy to industriously go through eight different flyers to get the best price on electronics or vehicle parts. It's hard to think about the ninety-nine cents here, sixty cents there that can add up over the month. If you don't believe me, try for the next month to at least analyze how frequently you spent the extra forty cents getting something big or the few extra dollars because you didn't bring a snack from home.
I have a special eating lifestyle that is in part due to food intolerance, in part due to the fact after I did it for about three months I realized even with the cost of mainly organic food and supplements; I was still saving about $25-30 a month depending on how well I followed Ann Louise Gittleman's Fat Flush Plan. I never realized how much money Fat Flushing was saving me until someone mentioned how much granola bars, animal shaped crackers and her special fancy coffees cost her every time she went out with the kids. Thanks to Fat Flush, I would bring my own snacks from homes, which were usually fresh fruit or vegetables plus cheese for Kidlet and water flavoured with homemade cranberry juice for myself. Under the category of like mother, like son, both my son and I get just as sugar buzzed off full strength fruit juice as we would off pop.
I think God blesses us with the wisdom to know what we can safely eat and what we can't. We need to respect other people's eating lifestyles. For some people, it could just be wanting to live more frugally, for others it could be food intolerances or even allergies. As well, all over the Bible are mentions of not over indulging. I don't think going to Wendy's or McDonalds will send you straight to Hell, although your doctor might give you Hell for eating places like that on a daily basis but I do believe that God would like us to think before we open our pocketbook or whip out our bank card to make a food purchase.
Proverbs 6:6-8 Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise, which having no captain, overseer or ruler, provides her supplies iin the summer and gathers her food in the harvest.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Thomas Trip
My feet ache because I spent five hours walking around Heritage Park. My lower back aches because of the backpack and my neck aches because of the big camera. There is a set of muscles in my right thigh that are telling me I could have done a better job perching on a fence post to get the perfect picture of a train. This morning forty-five minutes after I woke up, I found myself using math skills to calculate how to duplicate an engineer lantern. I'm not the only one who is feeling the morning after the day before. Big Lug's feet ache, hands ache, lower back aches and he even has a matched set of blisters on his hands.
For me, Thomas the Tank Engine is in Calgary. Kidlet and I had an excellent time with my best friend and her son. Big Lug, on the other hand, can hold his head high; puff out his chest and give a Tim Allen grunt for working together with one of his buddy's to build a new gate. I love Big Lug dearly but when it comes to home improvement, let's just say he's no Bob Villa. Thankfully he has the good sense to realize this and make friends with guys who are Bob Villa.
Sunday felt like a truly God blessed day, with good weather, everything going reasonably smoothly and time spent with fellow Christians. It's nice to sit underneath a tree in a public park and have a child say grace before eating lunch or to know that two men working together aren't going to get drunk off beer, just sugar buzzed off pop. Of course if it was a hot summer day, there would have been a few beer consumed but the men wouldn't have used the home renovations as an excuse to get drunk.
As for the health issues, Big Lug and I both know the best way to get rid of the aches is to carefully work the feet and back muscles as well as take it easy with our hands. We are also firm believers in the healing power of prayer, combined with the wisdom God blesses us with. It is thanks to His healing power and gift of wisdom that enabled us to have a day like yesterday. For many weeks I was sick. I had to humble myself, swallow my pride and ask God for help. The direction He guided me in was a difficult one for someone who believes in natural healing first and foremost. I am grateful to the doctors who have helped me on the road to health, along with God guiding me to people and things that will help what the doctors and nurses are doing for me. That's what makes yesterday so special. I was healthy enough to spend five hours with my son, in the outdoors, feeling God's power sustaining me on a physical, mental and emotional level.
Proverbs 15:3 The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
For me, Thomas the Tank Engine is in Calgary. Kidlet and I had an excellent time with my best friend and her son. Big Lug, on the other hand, can hold his head high; puff out his chest and give a Tim Allen grunt for working together with one of his buddy's to build a new gate. I love Big Lug dearly but when it comes to home improvement, let's just say he's no Bob Villa. Thankfully he has the good sense to realize this and make friends with guys who are Bob Villa.
Sunday felt like a truly God blessed day, with good weather, everything going reasonably smoothly and time spent with fellow Christians. It's nice to sit underneath a tree in a public park and have a child say grace before eating lunch or to know that two men working together aren't going to get drunk off beer, just sugar buzzed off pop. Of course if it was a hot summer day, there would have been a few beer consumed but the men wouldn't have used the home renovations as an excuse to get drunk.
As for the health issues, Big Lug and I both know the best way to get rid of the aches is to carefully work the feet and back muscles as well as take it easy with our hands. We are also firm believers in the healing power of prayer, combined with the wisdom God blesses us with. It is thanks to His healing power and gift of wisdom that enabled us to have a day like yesterday. For many weeks I was sick. I had to humble myself, swallow my pride and ask God for help. The direction He guided me in was a difficult one for someone who believes in natural healing first and foremost. I am grateful to the doctors who have helped me on the road to health, along with God guiding me to people and things that will help what the doctors and nurses are doing for me. That's what makes yesterday so special. I was healthy enough to spend five hours with my son, in the outdoors, feeling God's power sustaining me on a physical, mental and emotional level.
Proverbs 15:3 The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
We are Stories
Last night during the teaching time at my church, I heard a wonderful concept from Pastor Terry. First he opened with a brief history of First Alliance Church and closed with a verse from 2 Corinthians 10 about how we should not boast of ourselves but of the Lord and a reminder that all we do is done through God. That serves as a reminder for me not to get too proud about my writing but to remember it is a God given talent.
I have heard from those who believe we evolved from primordial ooze, and those who quote scripture that clearly states man was created from dirt by God, and woman was created from Adam’s rib to ensure she knew her place was not above him, not below him but beside him as his Ezer Kenegdo. If you really look at those two ideas, they aren’t too different. Who is to say God didn’t take primordial ooze and over His days which definitely can’t be compared to our 24 hour days, evolve them to what we now know as human beings? On the other hand having watched enough stock car races, hockey games and football games, I can understand why some people believe we evolved from apes. Yes I will plead guilty; my mind did wander a bit during the teaching time. Thankfully when I realized it was drifting, I prayed to God to help me stay focus on what the service was.
Pastor Terry had begun to talk about how we need to realize we are each part of a story and we need to identify our story. There was no way after that my mind did any wandering. I love the concept that I should look at my story line as though it is a letter from Christ to the world. It makes me realize that my words, my actions, my very attitude are a testimony for better or worse to the Living God. It helped my self esteem to realize I was a letter written on a human heart of love and life in Christ Jesus. I know I will never achieve perfection but to realize the Author’s intention is that my story, your story, our story is Christ’s desire for me, you and us to be a masterpiece is inspirational during times when I feel unworthy or unsure of how to handle a situation.
I got the term Ezer Kenegdo from John and Stasi Eldredge’s book Captivating. It is a very beautiful, well written, empowering book that inspired me to rise above a less than stellar past and realize that no matter what the past is it is the present God cares about. During a Captivating retreat I had many moments when I felt it was not my hand writing, but my hand being guided by God. I recently had someone on a message board heckle me to quit writing about crap I didn’t know anything about and write about what I did know. After my heart quit hurting, God told me that person was right. Now when I write, I pray to God, and let Him control the storyline.
Proverbs 28:25 He that is of a proud heart stirs up strife: but he that puts his trust in the Lord shall be made wise.
I have heard from those who believe we evolved from primordial ooze, and those who quote scripture that clearly states man was created from dirt by God, and woman was created from Adam’s rib to ensure she knew her place was not above him, not below him but beside him as his Ezer Kenegdo. If you really look at those two ideas, they aren’t too different. Who is to say God didn’t take primordial ooze and over His days which definitely can’t be compared to our 24 hour days, evolve them to what we now know as human beings? On the other hand having watched enough stock car races, hockey games and football games, I can understand why some people believe we evolved from apes. Yes I will plead guilty; my mind did wander a bit during the teaching time. Thankfully when I realized it was drifting, I prayed to God to help me stay focus on what the service was.
Pastor Terry had begun to talk about how we need to realize we are each part of a story and we need to identify our story. There was no way after that my mind did any wandering. I love the concept that I should look at my story line as though it is a letter from Christ to the world. It makes me realize that my words, my actions, my very attitude are a testimony for better or worse to the Living God. It helped my self esteem to realize I was a letter written on a human heart of love and life in Christ Jesus. I know I will never achieve perfection but to realize the Author’s intention is that my story, your story, our story is Christ’s desire for me, you and us to be a masterpiece is inspirational during times when I feel unworthy or unsure of how to handle a situation.
I got the term Ezer Kenegdo from John and Stasi Eldredge’s book Captivating. It is a very beautiful, well written, empowering book that inspired me to rise above a less than stellar past and realize that no matter what the past is it is the present God cares about. During a Captivating retreat I had many moments when I felt it was not my hand writing, but my hand being guided by God. I recently had someone on a message board heckle me to quit writing about crap I didn’t know anything about and write about what I did know. After my heart quit hurting, God told me that person was right. Now when I write, I pray to God, and let Him control the storyline.
Proverbs 28:25 He that is of a proud heart stirs up strife: but he that puts his trust in the Lord shall be made wise.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Saturday Indulgences
Ahhhhhh, Saturday, time to indulge after a long week, whether you work inside or outside the home. What to do? If you are a reader, it would be fun to lie in bed, unplug the phone, and have a blissful hour to focus on your book, no distractions. Ever share that with someone only to have them sanctimoniously say "What a waste, you'd be better off going for a power walk like I do."
Next Friday night you take a look in the mirror and think how it might help get rid of that carb or beer belly. You grab whatever tune machine you have, get up early Saturday and do that power walk, returning feeling invigorated. You share with someone what you did, only to have them tell you what a silly way to spend a Saturday morning, why not stay up late Friday night with a movie and sleep in Saturday morning?
Next Friday you rent that movie, pop some popcorn, have some lemonade or beer, and are amazed you are going to bed at midnight. You fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. Anyone who has a cat, dog or kid knows the outcome of Saturday morning. For that matter, because of all the lemonade or beer you drank the night before, your body might have other ideas about sleeping in.
I have found the best way to indulge in self-care on a Saturday is not to discuss my plans with other people but to prayerfully take it to the Lord and ask him for guidance. His plans for me tend to work out better than any plans from someone who does not know every cell of my body. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a yummy leisurely breakfast while reading Denise Jackson's "It's All About Him".
Proverbs 7:2 Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of your eye.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Extended Family Past and Present
As I read through the list of day camps available I found my mind going back in time to my extended family, specifically my Choo-Choo Grandma and Grandpa. My brother and I called them that because they lived in a railroad town way up north and Grandpa worked for the railroad. My parents would either drive us or when we became older, P.J. and I would take the Greyhound bus to their single wide trailer.
Those two weeks were paradise for a pair of city kids. No smog, little traffic, a single wide trailer with three housecats and about twenty cats that hung around outside. The land the trailer was on was large, with a path dubbed “Mushroom Trail” because it had plenty of fresh mushrooms growing along it. I can also remember P.J. working one side and me the other to pick fresh strawberries for Grandmaw. Grandpa always seemed to pronounce it “Grandmaw” or would address her as “Maw”.
In the trailer there was always the faint smell of yeast. In the back of the trailer Grandpa usually had a batch of homemade wine going. Grandpa had no qualms about letting us sample the latest batch. He said wine would help our blood. He’d also suggest we not bother our mother with the fact we were wine samplers. To his credit, he’d usually only let us have a sip or three, not a whole glass. The summer day camps we went to were okay but what I looked forward to each summer was those two weeks up north with my grandparents. These days Grandma is in an assisted care nursing home where she has some independence and Grandpa is up in Heaven, making communion wine. At least that’s what I’d like to think Grandpa is doing.
I have another extended family that is special to me. These people have helped me through marital difficulties, personal problems, people I’ve laughed with, cried with or for, prayed with, prayed for, and had general good times. What makes these people special is I’ve never met any of them. Anyone who says that online relationships aren’t real probably hasn’t tried hard enough. I especially find the stock car world isn’t hung up on online or offline, just talking about life as seen through the eyes of stock car fans and rednecks. I divide my time between two boards, one like a coffee shop where the fun is of a gentle sort and the advice isn’t too harsh. The other one advice threads can sometimes get sidetracked by the younger generation who don’t have the experience but feel they know it all. These people would laugh at the thought that I am not a real person with feelings. We are a merry band of adventurers, always caring, sometimes kidding, and sometimes working through misunderstandings but in the end, true friends. Besides twenty years ago pen pals were all the rage. Now it’s a new century and e-pals have replaced pen pals.
I received a reminder the other day about another type of extended family. As Christians, we need to remember that we are all part of God’s family and to treat all people with respect. As I was talking on the phone with my friend Kay, she told me of an experience she had at a nearby coffee shop. Kay had left early to file her income tax return at the post office. Since she arrived before the post office opened, she decided to indulge in some coffee, a scone and a chance to read the paper. After she sat down, she noticed a woman looking hungrily at her scone. The woman definitely had the appearance of homeless and as the conversation unfolded, Kay’s original thought was confirmed. Kay kindly talked with the woman as well as sharing her food. She also reassured the woman that although there was no earthly family who cared for her, there was a Heavenly Father who did care about her. Kay ended by praying for the woman for better times.
Proverbs 3:27 Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. KJV
Those two weeks were paradise for a pair of city kids. No smog, little traffic, a single wide trailer with three housecats and about twenty cats that hung around outside. The land the trailer was on was large, with a path dubbed “Mushroom Trail” because it had plenty of fresh mushrooms growing along it. I can also remember P.J. working one side and me the other to pick fresh strawberries for Grandmaw. Grandpa always seemed to pronounce it “Grandmaw” or would address her as “Maw”.
In the trailer there was always the faint smell of yeast. In the back of the trailer Grandpa usually had a batch of homemade wine going. Grandpa had no qualms about letting us sample the latest batch. He said wine would help our blood. He’d also suggest we not bother our mother with the fact we were wine samplers. To his credit, he’d usually only let us have a sip or three, not a whole glass. The summer day camps we went to were okay but what I looked forward to each summer was those two weeks up north with my grandparents. These days Grandma is in an assisted care nursing home where she has some independence and Grandpa is up in Heaven, making communion wine. At least that’s what I’d like to think Grandpa is doing.
I have another extended family that is special to me. These people have helped me through marital difficulties, personal problems, people I’ve laughed with, cried with or for, prayed with, prayed for, and had general good times. What makes these people special is I’ve never met any of them. Anyone who says that online relationships aren’t real probably hasn’t tried hard enough. I especially find the stock car world isn’t hung up on online or offline, just talking about life as seen through the eyes of stock car fans and rednecks. I divide my time between two boards, one like a coffee shop where the fun is of a gentle sort and the advice isn’t too harsh. The other one advice threads can sometimes get sidetracked by the younger generation who don’t have the experience but feel they know it all. These people would laugh at the thought that I am not a real person with feelings. We are a merry band of adventurers, always caring, sometimes kidding, and sometimes working through misunderstandings but in the end, true friends. Besides twenty years ago pen pals were all the rage. Now it’s a new century and e-pals have replaced pen pals.
I received a reminder the other day about another type of extended family. As Christians, we need to remember that we are all part of God’s family and to treat all people with respect. As I was talking on the phone with my friend Kay, she told me of an experience she had at a nearby coffee shop. Kay had left early to file her income tax return at the post office. Since she arrived before the post office opened, she decided to indulge in some coffee, a scone and a chance to read the paper. After she sat down, she noticed a woman looking hungrily at her scone. The woman definitely had the appearance of homeless and as the conversation unfolded, Kay’s original thought was confirmed. Kay kindly talked with the woman as well as sharing her food. She also reassured the woman that although there was no earthly family who cared for her, there was a Heavenly Father who did care about her. Kay ended by praying for the woman for better times.
Proverbs 3:27 Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. KJV
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Food Thoughts
I have a confession to make. I am Canadian, the metric system has been around since I was in grade six but when it comes to cooking, I prefer to use the American measures. That's why when I share a recipe it will be in cups not mL. I do understand the metric system well enough to grocery shop but I'm just an old fashioned woman when it comes to my baking.
These are great to snack on while watching the CCMA award show, hockey playoffs or to wrap in paper towel lined tinfoil to take to a tailgate picnic:
Pizza Biscuits
2 cups all purpose flour or 1 cup whole wheat, 1 cup all purpose
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup Mozzarella cheese
Half a package or 9 ounces assorted pizza meat circles, quartered (these usually come with ham, salami and pepperoni)
1/3 cup cooking or olive oil
3/4 cup pizza sauce
Pizza sauce to heat for dipping (optional)
Measure first four ingredients together in bowl. Stir. Add cheese and meat; stir until meat is well coated.
Add oil and pizza sauce. Stir or use your hands to form a ball of dough. Lift dough ball out of bowl, lightly flour bowl, put ball back in and knead gently 8-10 times, adding more flour if necessary. Divide ball into quarters, divide quarters into thirds, pat into circles about ¾-1 inch thick. Place on ungreased cookie sheet close together for moist sides or further apart for crisp sides.
Bake in 425 oven for about 20 minutes or until tops are browned. Once these are cooked, you can either top them with pizza sauce or put it in individual containers for dipping. If you are feeling ultra healthy, you can cut up some carrot and celery sticks as well as tomato wedges for vegetable side dishes.
Bigg Lug and Kidlet like their pizza biscuits plain, I like mine with pizza sauce. This is also a favourite when we are watching a NASCAR race in the afternoon and had a big Sunday brunch. For us the Sunday routine is usually a pre-race Sunday brunch because the race doesn’t start until noon and some sort of light lunch during the race.
I created the Pizza Biscuit recipe by combining two different biscuit recipes and a pizza recipe. I used to feel like I was wasting my brains by being so creative with cooking. Being a child of the 70’s, I felt sort of guilty taking pleasure in the womanly art of cooking. When I started not just reading but studying the book of Proverbs in the Bible, I noticed wisdom and knowledge tended to get referred to as feminine traits, not as masculine traits. I started to take delight in the culinary arts, even if it was just a simple biscuit recipe.
Proverbs 3:13, 15 Happy is the person that finds wisdom, and the person that gets understanding. She is more precious than rubies: and all the things you can desire are not to be compared to her.
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