Smokin' Hot Marriage

Last year God called an American pastor from way down south to come way up west. Pastor Scott has a unique way with words. Combine his southern way of talking with a church that prefers to teach people instead of preaching at people and you can occasionally walk out of a church with a whole lot on your mind. I had thought with the topic being about how to have a smokin' hot marriage, it was going to be the teaching time about sex. It wasn't; however the pastor did discuss a PG-13 version of Proverbs 5:18-19. He forewarned people in a few weeks the message was going to be adult and it would be a good idea to put children in the children's classroom. After going through the part of Genesis about how and why God created woman, including Adam declaring Wo! Man! as a bit of southern humour (pastor's words, not mine) and using Proverbs 5:15 as a reminder of being faithful to your spouse, he went on to cover how a smokin' hot marriage means met needs.

We had been told the  needs lists for both genders was an 80/20 rule, with 80% of people making the needs their top 5. I could have done without hearing about making a house a place of refuge and comfort for your husband. When it comes to what makes a woman attractive, Big Lug is part of the 20% of men who could care less about a woman wearing make-up. He's definitely in the 80% who want the house to be clean.

Domestic Support came up again on the women's list. It was fourth on the men's list, third on the women's list. It was nice to hear a pastor speak about the virtues of a man being domestically supportive to his wife. To be fair, Big Lug is great at doing his share of housework. I know I cringed when the pastor finished discussing that woman's need by reminding men "A woman's house is an extension of her personality." There are parts of my house that are well-cared for, parts of my house that are in disarray and a few parts that if you look at them close, you see some ugliness.

I began to ponder if I should change my evil ways and stop being a Housework Impaired Female. I didn't want to be a Martha, too busy to enjoy Jesus' arrival but I also knew that I shouldn't use that scenario to go the other extreme and do nothing about the disorganization in my house. It was with a great deal of relief when Pastor Scott drifted to more comfortable territory to me, speaking about how a smokin' hot marriage means honour. One of my favourite Bible verses is Romans 12:10. The King James Version says "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another." Thanks to my interpreting the first half to mean providing recreational companionship for your husband, I am number one on Big Lug's list of people he enjoys taking to a game or race. As for the second half, it's the same as Proverbs 5:15, being a faithful spouse.

It took Pastor Scott's Southern twist of Romans 12:10 to simplify how I could be the sort of wife that has a smokin' hot marriage. Don't yell, don't cuss, and don’t fuss. Those were terms I could understand. I knew I could get rid of the disarray and ugliness in my house by not yelling, not cussing, not fussing, just calmly and serenely going about it.