The Rhyme Off

Ever notice in a mixed group, there are always a few guys who can’t resist being smart alecs? It began simple enough, with a guy sharing a cute story about some kids doing the actions to a nursery rhyme. The women thought it was sweet. One man, however, couldn’t resist the urge to provide his own creative rhymes.

Kerry:

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To have a little fun
Silly Jill
Forgot the pill
and now they have a son

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jack got horny, Jill got corny
and now they have a daughter

Since Kerry got a few polite laughs, he decided to continue on.

Kerry:

Simple Simon met a Pieman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you airhead!"

As the silence became rather thick, however, Big Al being a true gentleman decided to come in and save the day. He cleared his throat and came up with one about Mary the garden grower.

Big Al:

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells,
And one humongous onion.

As the women giggled and one turned to the man beside her to discuss gardening, Big Al cleared his throat and came up with another one. As he said it, a few people started to get a shocked look on their face because they thought they knew how it was going to end. One man even began to lift up his hand in a “Whoa man, you sure you want to go down that road?” gesture.

Mary had a little watch
she swallowed it one day
and so she took some Epsom salts
to pass the time away.
But though she tried, and tried, and tried
she couldn't make time pass.
So if you want to know the time
just look up Mary's......
uncle in the Yellow Pages. He sells watches.

Two women laughed so hard they choked, one woman had to go to the bathroom and best of all, and one guy wound up snorting his pop through his nose.

It’s great to be back!